“I wish there was another way, but no amount of devotion can fix this.”
In 2013 As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis was arrested for soliciting the murder of his wife Meggan. At the time, Tim and As I Lay Dying were at their pinnacle of success, and were enjoying worldwide notoriety. What fans all over the world didn’t know was that the band was experiencing turmoil behind closed doors. This turmoil was being caused by the psychological, emotional and spiritual unraveling of their leader.
Tim was a devout Christian, a college educated theologian, and the frontman of a hugely successful metal band in which he was the main songwriter. He had a beautiful wife and they lovingly adopted three children from Ethiopia. Tim was young, healthy and an avid bodybuilder. In other words, he was on top of the world. Unfortunately, like countless other individuals and families, all of this began to fall apart when drugs came into the picture.
Tim had reached a physical plateau with his bodybuilding. Like most bodybuilders, Tim had been taking supplements to gain muscle mass, but when he couldn’t seem to get any bigger (something steroid dealers watch for), a fellow gym member turned him on to anabolic steroids. Tim started taking steroids because he rationalized that it was “more honest” than just packing in a bunch of store bought workout supplements. From this point on, Tim began to transform. He had given evil the foothold it needed to wreak havok in his life, and completely destroy the strong man he once was. He spent most of his time at the gym, began taking copious amounts of steroids, and was completely wrapped up in himself to the point that his marriage and family life began to suffer. It has recently been brought to light by Dokken guitarist George Lynch that Tim was also allegedly doing cocaine and heroin. Tim had also completely lost his faith, and had become an atheist, all the while putting on a charade for his fans, because he didn’t have the heart to tell them he had denounced Christianity. He had become depressed, angry, agitated and filled with despair. Tim Lambesis was on the edge.
As a result of Tim’s struggles, and the strain they were putting on the family, his wife Meggan separated from him and began to follow through with proceedings to get full custody of their three adopted children. Tim was allowed supervised visits with his kids where Meggan would sit in the corner, and watch him spend time with his children. He was desperately trying to get the right to spend more time with his children, but to no avail. His kids began to see him as just an occasional visitor while Meggan was their sole provider. They still called him dad, but with little love or enthusiasm. They began to ask him if he still loved them, and if he went on tour because he didn’t want to be with them or mom anymore.
When a man is on the edge, and not thinking clearly because of drugs and unfathomable emotional distress, sometimes all he needs is the slightest nudge to go over the edge completely, and do the unthinkable. That nudge came in the form of an undercover police officer. Tim’s steroid dealer had asked Tim if he had explored every option, and told him he knew of a man who would be able to take care of Meggan….permanently. Tim, feeling like he had no other option, met with a man who called himself “Red”, and paid him one thousand dollars to kill his wife. Tim was arrested, convicted for solicitation of murder and sentenced to six years in prison.
There is still so much we don’t know about what happened. All I know is that the whole thing reeks of a set up. Why would Tim’s steroid dealer just randomly start inquiring as to whether or not Tim had considered taking matters into his own hands? Why would he be working with an undercover officer in order to get Tim convicted for solicitation of murder? Was Tim’s dealer working with authorities because he got busted for dealing and was trying to stay out of jail? Even in those cases the police are usually looking for information on someone who is already wanted, or has already committed a crime. Did Meggan set the whole thing up? It would definitely be a sure fire way to get full custody of their children. More will be revealed, but all we can do right now is speculate.
It was announced on February 9th that Tim Lambesis had been released from prison, but as it turns out, Tim has been out of prison for a couple of months now. Tim has been living in an undisclosed location and has wasted no time getting his life back together. He’s landed a book deal, another huge record deal and is engaged to be married in April. So many people expected him to just roll over and die, but let’s face it, Tim Lambesis is a winner. He always has been. Why would that stop?
What Tim did was despicable, and personally, I think he should’ve had to serve his entire sentence. However, as someone who’s involved in my local addiction recovery community, I know that drugs can turn people into monsters. I’ve seen people come out of prison after being convicted of crimes that will forever haunt them, because they never would’ve committed them under normal circumstances. I’ve seen these people clean up the wreckage, and blossom into beautiful, strong people with a little help from people who love them. I believe in forgiveness, second chances and miracles. We all have our demons, and we all make mistakes. Some of us make huge mistakes, but most people deserve a second chance. I think Tim Lambesis is one of those people. Tim has a new lease on life. Let’s see what he does with it. I, for one, am looking forward to some new music from this great musician and songwriter.