If you’ve been paying attention to my articles regarding Metallica and their downfall then you are one wise Mofo. Everything I’ve said so far is undeniable, Metallica is a lost band when it comes to writing music, they’ve strayed so far from what made them great they have no clue how to get it back despite trying to do it for their last two records.
Not one to complain without offering a solution, I came up with a brilliant plan to make Metallica’s music great again.
But first let’s do a little comparison shall we?
Let’s check out the band that should be ghost writing Metallica’s next album. That band is Blistered Earth, a Metallica tribute band that I did not know existed until Metallica pulled out a welfare check and gave these guys freebie gear after they were ripped off by some pendejos. Now everyone knows who they are. Here’s a video of them playing One.
Well done gentlemen, that’s the best I’ve heard Metallica play in 25 years. And though the production is bad due to the recording, its clear they’ve got that old crunch in their sound. The one Metallica had before morphing it into a more rockabilly guitar tone.
Now let’s hear Metallica play a recent live version of One, ignore the Master Of Puppets second half.
That was alright, but there was some definite sloppiness, a little looseness that wasn’t there before, some not so great vocal parts, and let’s not talk about Lars ok, not good. Rob’s Rob, just doing what he’s told. It was adequate, but it was not the passionate fire we’ve come to expect from a legendary band like Metallica. It wasn’t a bad performance, but it wasn’t a fiery one either. It was a let’s cash in performance. And cash in they did.
So being a man of solutions, I kinda gave it away already, I know that the best way for Metallica to overcome their writers block is to hire Blistered Earth to ghost write their next album and release it as an official Metallica album ala Milli Vanilli “Girl You Know It’s True”. We all win!
Metallica wins because they can finally release a great Metal album with their real sound and style.
Blistered Earth wins because they get paid. And they get the honor of having their music played worldwide AS Metallica, which is clearly their dream or else why do the tribute thing right?
And most importantly the fans win because we’ve been waiting 25 years for something resembling Metal to be released by Metallica. We FINALLY get the Metallica we’ve waited forever for.
Another possible solution is to have Blistered Earth physically replace Metallica as band, much like Slayer’s been replacing members per Kerry King’s whims.
The most important thing to take from this article is that there ARE solutions, but action MUST be taken, so the ball is in your court now Metallica. I’ve given you the formula for musical success. Only YOU can hold YOU back.